In my last post, I reviewed a new book by Barry McDonagh called DARE: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks. I have been active in the respective Facebook Group and I do believe that this book is really helping people. So today, I thought I would share my Top Ten DARE Quotes and why I like each quote.
“A ship is safe in harbor, but that’s not what ships are for.”
As a kid spending time at home was for eating, sleeping and watching television. Hanging out at home was boring because there was so much life going on outside and I didn’t want to miss a thing. During young adulthood, I loved being outside, rode my bicycle for miles, enjoyed outdoor photography, traveled to work on the train and, was able to handle a stressful work environment. After panic attacks my life’s radius began to decrease drastically. . The “what ifs” took over my life and I was now questioning my every move. Should I go out? What if I have a panic attack? Will there be a quick exit available so I can run back to my retreat? It’s so exhausting thinking about your every move. I became the “ship”, staying home missing out on all of the life that existed beyond my decreasing perimeter.
“The greatest obstacle to healing anxiety is you. You’re the cure.”
Why are we anxiety sufferers so hard on ourselves?! At what point did “I can” turn into “I can’t”? How did I manage to change my mindset so drastically in a short period of time? Just because of a panic attack I gave over full control to my brain which was telling me that I was in trouble and that I needed to run. What happened to I am in trouble and I need to fight or maybe I’m not in trouble at all? Thirty years ago doctors didn’t explain how the brain works and the effects of serotonin levels. The internet didn’t exist and library research didn’t come up with much information on the subject of anxiety. In 30 years, I have come a long way but I still felt like I was missing something. After reading Dare, I finally understood what needed to be done and I felt empowered.
“The DARE Response is not designed to get rid of your anxiety, it’s designed to get rid of your fear of anxiety.”
My anxious mind may be with me for the rest of my life but if I respond in the proper way it doesn’t have to create a response of paralyzing fear. Oh, this one is a game changer for me. It’s difficult not to wonder what my life would’ve been like if I had this information years ago. But, I won’t because dealing with my anxiety has made me a stronger person. In fact, I now consider anxiety my friend.
“It’s never enough to read what you need to do; you have to experience it.”
Advances in technology has enabled people to have a wealth of information at their finger tips. We can research anxiety and panic attacks, find out everything from “what is a panic attack” to “how to overcome anxiety and panic”. One can spend days reading, absorbing information, having “aha moments” but, if you never take action all of that reading will get you nowhere fast.
“Stop waiting for the world to love you. We have to respect, appreciate, and love ourselves first and foremost. Choose to love yourself.”
Choosing to put yourself before others may sound a bit selfish but, think about it. If you truly understand the meaning of respect, appreciation and love then you will be able to demand it of others. Aretha Franklin sang R E S P E C T find out what it means to me. You have to respect yourself in order to understand what it means to YOU and in turn, what you can honestly expect of others. When I became agoraphobic, I felt like the world was against me but, in reality, I stopped loving, respecting and appreciating myself. Now, I am embrace these qualities and live a fuller life.
“Forgiveness gives you peace of mind. Peace of mind comes from letting go of anger and resentment.”
How much time are you going to spend being angry? Days, weeks, months, even years? It’s okay to get angry but holding onto it only lets it fester inside you. It does nothing but deplete your energy. Take the time to address your anger and then let it go. Anger just puts us in a bad mood, it may not always be on the surface but it still affects your emotional responses. Stop torturing yourself,
“In the end, you heal anxiety with your heart, not your head.”
Your brain may be issuing a flight response but hold on a minute. If you respect, appreciate and love yourself then, you will have an entirely different response. Listen to your heart and make anxiety your friend.
“Learning to retrain how you respond to setbacks is key. The wrong response prolongs the setback. The right response moves you through it with greater ease.”
Let’s be realistic, you WILL have setbacks. Don’t be surprised, take it in stride and move on. I know that setbacks are frustrating but they are a necessary evil. You may think that you are failing at the DARE Response but setbacks are part of the process of healing. You do have a choice:
- Feel like a failure and spend a week trying to figure out where you went wrong. Then start again with your training or quit.
- Immediately accept your setback and start again with your training.
Number one is so time consuming and only sends you on a backward spiral. Number two is the best choice because you jump right back into your healing.
“Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. Louis Smedes once said, ‘To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”
Stop being so hard on yourself. Having anxious thoughts and/or panic attacks doesn’t make you an unworthy person. Don’t become your own enemy because if you do you will never find balance. When you become your own enemy you lock yourself out from the world and throw away the key.
“If you can reach the point where you’re grateful for anxiety, you’ve made the full switch in perception that’s needed to truly heal your anxiety.”
Everyday I am so grateful for my anxiety. It has helped me learn how to respond to different types of situations. I am a warrior and I do not run away.
Thanks for reading my top ten Dare quotes. If you have any questions or comments please do so below.